Most of us spend the majority of our day in our head. We consider everything we should or shouldn’t be doing, we hear voices from our past telling us we aren’t good enough or that we might fail and we make up misassumptions of what others intentions are as we interact with them. In order to think critically, we have to get this mind chatter out of the way. The first step to this is becoming aware of the thoughts. Usually, we are just moving along unconsciously, thinking these negative thoughts about ourselves and the work we have done. When we spend time and energy bashing ourselves, we often are unable to objectively think through how we want to handle certain situations or what we should do next. For example, my partner and I were brainstorming about our business. He was talking about how hard it is for us to both manage developing prospects while at the same time taking care of our current clients. Everything he said made sense. He was trying to come up with some solutions to help us be able to find a balance and yet still grow the company. Every time he would mention something about how we are spacing out our day I jumped right in with a defensive comment. “I don’t do that” or “I already am trying that”. I was completely shutting everything down. I wasn’t able to critically think through the problem at all because of my mind chatter. Overall, it was saying that I haven’t done enough to earn my keep. Specific thoughts were “he doesn’t think I am doing my fair share”, “I am disappointing him”, “I need to let go of these tasks but what if they aren’t done right?” If you know me, you know that I am working hard and if you know the relationship I have with my partner, you know that he isn’t thinking that I am not doing enough. But these thoughts caught me in the moment. They are from past experiences and they are from things I make up about myself. They don’t allow me to be fully present in my decision making.
So what can you do? First, you have to get the thoughts out of your head and into your conscious. Notice how often this is presenting itself. Most importantly, start to identify what you are really saying. Other examples of mind chatter might be “If you try, you will fail and they will think you are an idiot”, “You don’t belong here, you aren’t good enough”, “You’ve never been able to do it in the past…what makes you think you can do it now?”, “Sure you did this but what about all of these other things?”. The list could go on and on. Say what you thinking out loud or simply write it down. In doing this, you can usually see right away that it doesn’t make any sense. Sometimes you can even laugh at the ridiculousness of it. Try creating a chart of the most prevalent negative thoughts you have and tally how often they creep into your mind. Do this for a week. See how much of your time is wasted on bashing yourself and your abilities. Maybe it is 20% or 60% of the time. Then notice how these thought patterns change your ability to critically think through problems. What are the misassumptions you are making about yourself or about how others see you? How does this change the way you make decisions? If you could stop this mind chatter how would you show up differently, not only at work, but in your personal life? I know for me I could have used the conversation with my partner to help remove some of my stress rather then adding to it. We could have truly brainstormed some ways to better manage the growth of our company. However, there is no sense bashing myself about it now! I just need to make a conscious decision next time to acknowledge the chatter and move right on over it!