We can’t change a situation, but what we can change is how we are approaching it. Recently, while working with a client, we walked through The Coaches Training Institutes’ Balance Formula. This formula helps individuals and teams identify how they are approaching a challenge or problem and then come to choice as to how they want to approach it. Essentially, it is changing how you are thinking about it, which changes how you are feeling and thus changes the behavior you have towards the situation.
First, we had to define the challenge. In this case, Mary was not able to gain influence or respect from her bosses and peers.
Define Current & Possible Mindsets
For both the current and possible mindsets, we had Mary describe the mindset using an image to convey how it felt.
Current Mindset – On the Fence
At that time, Mary had been approaching team meetings and individual interactions as if she was walking on a fence. She was feeling cautious to jump on either side, not knowing if there was a pit-bull waiting in the bushes. From this mindset, she felt shaky, indecisive, self conscious and anxious.
This mindset was not working for her, so we explored other possibilities and here is what we found:
Possible Mindset – Jumping on the Ground
This felt solid and decisive – still a bit leery of the pit-bull, but with both feeling solidly on the ground.
Possible Mindset – Old Sage
Calm, wise – not saying much but when she does talk, it is important. This felt ok for Mary – but not where she felt she was quite yet.
Possible Mindset – Bee Hive Whacker
It would be fun to hit them (as long as she had a very long stick) and make things happen. This mindset gave her permission to stir things up a bit at the organization. Ask about initiatives that she felt needed to move forward faster. She liked it, but also was nervous it would sting too much!
Possible Mindset – Wonder Woman
Super hero that was able to come in and serve for the good of all. Powerful, decisive, respected and somewhat feared. This felt strong and confident. She could stand up for the cause and have the cause and power behind her to do it.
We revisited each mindset and brainstormed to determine which one resonated the most for her. In this case, Wonder Woman helped her to feel the most empowered.
Explore What is Possible From That Mindset:
We explored what the possibilities would be from Wonder Women. She said she would be able to gain respect from her management and her peers. She would feel like she was making a difference because she could move initiatives through faster. She saw how coming from this perspective would allow her to present what was right for the organizations instead of trying to guess what others want or think she should do.
Next is to figure out what actions she would need to take. Coming from Wonder Woman here is what Mary committed to doing:
1. Center in on the Wonder Woman image before sending emails, having one-on-one meetings with her bosses or in team meetings.
2. Look at what needs to be done and come up with a plan. Then develop a clear way to present the reasoning behind the proposal.
3. Put ideas out there and if disregarded and she still feels strongly about them – come back again with a different spin or with more information or just at another time.
4. Make decisions that hold true for her value set that are for the good of the organization and stand firm in them. Fight for them if needed!
Mary can’t change all that is going on in the organization or within the leadership team, but she can change how she approaches them. This changes how she feels and how she behaves and thus the overall impact she is able to have on those around her. Mary is respected and has the influence over the direction of the organization she wanted.
Now it’s your turn! If you feel stuck, try shifting your mindset.
1. Define the challenge/problem.
2. How are you approaching it now?
3. What are other possible mindsets/perspectives you could try to approach it from?
4. Choose one or two options that resonate for you.
5. What are the possibilities from there?
6. What do you need to do to come from that mindset?
It is truly empowering! Let us know how it works!