I recently had an opportunity to work with a new coach on a project. It was such a smooth launch into a working relationship that it’s worth thinking about what made it so easy. As I look back, it seems that a lot of it had to do with how we both approached each other. Three key ingredients to building immediate trust in any relationship included:
1. Assuming Good Intent
It is clear that we both assumed good intentions on either side. Generally, I approach people from this perspective, but if they are holding back or if I feel they have a wall up, I will back off. It’s a fine line. We don’t want to be taken advantage of and yet we also want to make sure we remain open. We both came to the conversations assuming that the other person did not have an alternative agenda that was going to go against the other.
2. Being Transparent
We were open with each other and it was clear that neither of us was holding anything back. We showed up as peers to the conversation, each person an equal. Our tone of voice, choice of wording, ability to listen (really listen) to each other and the powerful questions we each asked, all solidified that we respected and trusted each other.
This other coach did not boast about “what she could do”. I didn’t feel like I had to either. We really just showed up ready to brainstorm. We were both being honest about who we are and who we are not.
3. Setting Expectations
We set the stage for how we wanted to work together. Expectations were well defined before we went into the project. We defined coaching and training styles, what we are good at and where the areas are that we need help. There was no question how we wanted the project to flow, what we would do when things were going well and what we would do if things got off track.
The end result…
The project went off without a hitch!
What Would You Do?
Trust is such a key part of any relationship. The more we can develop trust and do it quickly, the better we will be able to work together. Your experience can help others too. Tell us about a time when you built trust quickly with another person. What were the key components to that relationship? How did you both “show up”? In general, what do you do to build trust with others?