I always ask my clients for people they admire and look up to. It is important to recognize these people because when we incorporate their characteristics into ourselves, we are moving forward toward the person we know we can and truly want to be.
One of the people I admire most is Auntie.
Auntie’s real name is Andrea Larson. She was a dear friend and “Auntie” to many. I met her in 1994 and since then she has touched my life in a way that has allowed me to be a better person and a better coach.
What characteristics from Auntie do I try to incorporate into my life and my work?
Belief in the Power of Our Spirit
Auntie had been living with cancer for more than 30 years. She defied all of what the medical profession knows to be true. How did she do it? I know it was her utter will to live. You must understand that Auntie wasn’t scared to die, she just wasn’t ready. When she was ready, she went on her terms. I have a distinct image of this in my mind. There is a picture of a pelican with a frog in its throat. The frog is 3/4 of the way down, but his arms and legs are out and he isn’t going down without a fight. This is the image that comes to mind when I think of how Auntie overcame all of the odds.
When I see people who are going through the challenges of change, I think of Auntie and how her strong spirit allowed her to keep going even when all others said it can’t be done. Her strength inspires me. From her example, I have seen that we as humans can do anything if we will it and believe it to be so.
Focusing on What Is, Instead of What Isn’t
Auntie always said to me that when she felt good, she would go and go without hesitation because she was never sure how long it would last. When I start to complain about what isn’t right in my life, Auntie pops into my mind. She had not been able to get up and go for years. Instead of anger or bitterness about what she couldn’t have or do, Auntie simply appreciated what was there. Sometimes that was enjoying talking to one of her family or friends on the phone, seeing a dog enjoy a treat, or watching the fog from her bedroom window as it lifted over the country road.
Bad results from a medical test? “Well, at least I know what to fight!”
Turning yet another year older? “Yes, I made it another year!”
Having to make a fast visit? “No problem, just make sure that you wave as you go by!”
Focusing on what is instead of what isn’t. Seeing the situation from a different perspective that awards power and appreciation.
The Power of Gentle Stillness
I don’t know how I came to these words or how to describe what I mean here, except to make the analogy of a gentle soul reaching out to a wounded animal. Reaching with patience and grace and without expectation. Just being. There is a healing power that Auntie had which spreads to those who have been wounded around her. She was ready and accepting when we moved toward her, yet calm and still when we didn’t. Auntie had a profound effect on one’s confidence. She encouraged and supported the positives in those around her, which strengthened their ability to move forward in whatever they needed to do. She did this in a way that was authentic, genuine and non-judgmental. I knew that no matter what I said to her, it was greeted with honesty. Honesty that is solid, yet supportive and encouraging.
Gentle Stillness, it is soft yet strong. I find that when I can “be” this with those around me, they feel the unconditional acceptance that is there and it helps bring them clarity and strength.
Auntie helped me to become the person that I know I am meant to be. I so appreciate who she was and what she represents in my life.
So today I ask you to think about who your “Auntie” is? What are the characteristics you most relate to and how can you step up to incorporate them into who you are today? What do you want to carry on from them?