Strength of Powerful Network Relationships Part II

by | Blog

Our computer relationship databases can hold thousands of contacts.  Yet how many of these contacts have any real social meaning to us or those people stored in our files. Sure, we can send out newsletters, invite thousands of people to visit our blog or even invite these people to dinner with a few keystrokes.  But what social or relationship value does that produce? If you’re like me, maybe one percent of any of these endless and gratuitous invitations have any meaning. Executives can easily find hundreds of emails, every day in their inbox, which dulls the social senses. Emails are great for information gathering and organizing our business activities, but they lack any real social connection. Therefore, a live meeting is necessary for any real relationship to develop and these social activities require a substantial investment of time. It becomes a question of quality and return on investment. When we decide we need something, like a new job opportunity, how many of the thousands of people in our database will be able to sort through their thousands of relationship and be committed to help you. This is the power of the strong-tie relationship in our modern social world.

I challenge any executive to go to their database and count the number of contacts.  Then go through the A’s and count the number of people who would accept a dinner or lunch invitation for fun. If that number is low, consider how many of these people would actually advocate you for a job. I recently performed this exercise with an executive who had 1200 contacts and she became concerned. It wasn’t that she was unsociable or unable to make friends. It was because she maintained a very “professional” relationship with her contacts. She was so focused on her firms results (a good thing) that she did not invest the time to establish any depth in these relationships. She was doing her functional executive job well, but was poor at cultivating ties that would have personal value to her. In addition, how much better could she have done her job if she was first to know about issues, invited to critical business social gatherings or asked about her interest in career opportunities beyond the walls of her firm?

We all have varying ideas about what a strong relationship or friend is and this may account for varying levels of capability. I argue that if you are an executive, these capabilities exist to some extent. Strong-ties and friendships are developed through a combination of frequency of interaction, emotional connection and the existence of reciprocity. We may meet several associates once a month to trade information, but if there is a lack of emotional interaction or a lack of returning favors in some form, relationships remain superficial at best. Since it is impossible to be with, have an emotional connection with, or do favors for too many people, we have to decide who we want to make our investment of social capital with. This is the modern social network challenge.

By definition, leadership is about transforming people. To do that, we spend a great deal of time inside our firms cultivating critical relationships that will give our firms value. The same applied to our careers, the leadership of ourselves and the fulfillment of our personal mission. Therefore, executives need to cultivate real relationships that are meaningful. This does not mean faking friendship. On the contrary, real relationships require a mutual commitment, a sense of investment and an expectation that we will be there for each other when the time comes. To network well, we need to purposefully seek out relationships that click in target areas we need them. Simply stated, why not make friends with the people you like who are where you want your career to go. There are plenty of nice people in every area of business and society. Your challenge is to find them, spend time with them and become friends. The challenge is also to be a friend to them.

About Sojourn

Sojourn Partners is a results-driven executive leadership coaching firm that empowers the professional workforce to think differently in order to realize the full return on investment in themselves and their companies. Professional leadership thinking and intervention, based on years of research and experience, place Sojourn Partners at the forefront in executive leadership coaching, organizational development, strategic planning and culture and climate change.

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